Some days I look at my life and wonder what the heck was I thinking, I got pregnant the first time at 19, I had my first boy Zachary at 20 (2004)I was engaged to be married, and a short year later, I ended the engagement because I knew we were not meant to be. In 2007 I did marry my best friend and we have 3 more boys together, TJ and I have had our ups and downs but we have always worked things out. I am living proof that you should wait to have children, don't get me wrong I love my son and would not change a thing but waiting until I was older and in a much better relationship would have made my life much easier. Zachary was born with a problem with his swallow(Aspiration) it caused him to take liquid into his lungs and it was miss diagnosed for 3 years as asthma. All of these things made me into the person that I am today but every once and a while I think about what it would have been like to enjoy my early 20's (without children), with little to no real responsibilities. Possibly go to university, travel, just be me. Since then I have managed to get a great career in oil and gas industry, I did take some management course at NAIT and be a "super mom" as our friends and family call me. I love my boys more than life it self and I would do anything for them.
Zachary, Brodie, Lucas and Maxwell are the most amazing little boys, and they truly are little BOYS they love to wrestle, get dirty, play sports, build forts, play with tools and build stuff, but at the same time they love to cuddle and give hugs and kisses. I love watching them play together, there is something about a family that loves to be together and my boys enjoy playing, painting, colouring, traveling, and helping out together. It is truly an honour to be their mom, sometimes it just takes a little reminding that I am the person I am now because of them.
This past mothers day I was given gifts with their hand prints on them and I know they won't be little for much longer and it saddens me to think that they won't be babies any more. Zach and Brodie are already in school and Luke will be there soon Thank goodness little Max will keep us in baby mode for the next few years.
The poem that came with the gifts read this.
Sometimes you get discouraged
Because I am so small
And always leave my fingerprints
On furniture and walls.
But every day I'm growing
I'll be grown some day
And all those handprints
Will surely fade away.
So here's a little handprint
Just so you can recall
Exactly how my fingers looked
When I was very small.
Someday I will look back and I will shed a tear(cause that's what I do), I am seeing Zachary as more and more of a man and what he will become. He is already 10 and in 8 short years he will be an adult going off to university(he already has the one he wants to go to picked out cause it offers the program he wants to take) Sometimes I just make him sit with me and hold him I wish I could keep him young forever but then he wouldn't get to experience all the wonderful things that come with being an adult!
Gotta go ... Lindsay
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